Rocky Horror Picture Show

[Martin Hash]

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The infamous “Rocky Horror Picture Show” movie, came out in 1975, starring Susan Sarandon, Barry Bostwick & Tim Curry as the inestimable Dr. Frankenfurter, was scandalous at the time due to Dr. Frankenfurter being a transvestite from Transylvania (an alien planet) who has sex with both of the naïve conservative engaged protagonists. What makes the show special is the audience interaction, throwing props in the air & chanting callback lines to mimic the movie at the faddist midnight movie theaters. I’d never experienced but my wife, Gwynne, went a few times during college.

That was decades ago so I was surprised when our friend, Eddie, for Halloween, invited us for a group outing to the Rocky Horror Picture Show in Southeast Portland, a place with a renaissance fair attitude peopled by trust-fund kids. We were all over 60. I went dressed as Ken from the Barbie movie but I looked like a runway cowboy, and got at least one nod from a guy as we passed in a coffee shop. Gwynne was dressed as Barbie but the pink flared-legs jumpsuit made her look like a hippie girl. The place was sold out; luckily we were in the very back row because this wasn’t our crowd; in fact, me dressed up like we were gay was good camouflage.

One of us, Loren, had never seen the film before and didn’t know what it was about; as a Rocky Horror virgin, he was asked to go up on the stage in front of the movie screen. One of the other “virgins” was a well-endowed gal wearing only an unbuttoned blazer. Loren’s girlfriend, Jeanne, almost joined him onstage but was too shy, thank god, because what happened next would have been completely out of her comfort zone. The couples were told demonstrate as many kamasutra sex positions as they could in 1 minute, each having a judge to make sure they mimed it correctly. The show went down from there.

A local theater troop acted out the movie in front of the screen, casting large shadows. I’m pretty sure it was a lesbian because every part but the villain was played by a female. All of them were overweight. During the dance numbers, the obese one’s breasts & ass cheeks bulged out of the black corsets they were squeezed into. As distracting as that was, the audience didn’t follow the established callback script; instead people continuously yelled obscene puns so that we couldn’t hear the dialog. Eddie & Loren both left the theater early. Finally, we were dismissed. I haven’t been so relieved since making to the bathroom on time after drinking 4 cups of coffee. Gwynne was bummed that she'd forgotten her bag of rice & toast to throw.

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