Drinking Whiskey

[Martin Hash]

I grew up Mormon so I never smoked and certainly never drank alcohol. I’m no longer religious but I still didn’t smoke, never even one puff on a cigarette, only drank beer occasionally, and hard liquor not at all because I had a busy life with no room for down time or lack of clear thoughts & concentration; I did collect shot glasses though. It wasn’t until I was thoroughly retired that I took the opportunity to sample one of life’s little pleasures; that of the whiskey connoisseur. Now that I know the benefits of a good alcohol buzz, I can see why leaving it until after life’s challenges are past is a good idea; many people certainly would rather be drunk than deal with anxiety and pressure.

Shot Glasses.jpg

Shot Glass Collection

My dad used to drink Johnny Walker blended Scotch. When I started sampling whiskey, I didn’t know the difference between a Scotch and a bourbon; I could barely tell the difference between whiskey and vodka, but soon enough with some research both online and out of a shot glass, I got the feel of it. I learned not to purchase alcohol in Washington because of the exorbitant liquor tax, and not in Oregon because of the state-regulated liquor stores; Costco in California was where to do your liquor shopping. While we were driving through Cali, we stopped at Costco to stock up. I tried to get stuff I didn't already have; ended up being almost $1000!

Johnny Walker.jpg

Johnny Walker

My son, Heath, got me a whiskey cart for my birthday. He asked my wife, Gwynne, first; she said no because “there’s no place to put it;” he got it anyway. A $100 bottle of scotch will last a long time but a $100 dinner comes out the next day. So far I haven’t drank anything worth $100 but if I ever do, I’ll certainly keep buying it. The only problem is that I can't resist the temptation to start sampling before 5 pm. Since Gwynne & I go dancing a lot, starting early becomes problematic because she'll take me home if other people start taking pictures.

Whiskey Cart.jpg

Whiskey Cart

Anybody who's at my house is welcome to serve themselves whatever they want but eventually they need to leave a bottle. Turns out that policy has one major flaw: alcoholics who try to hide their problem. There was a woman living in an unused upstairs room who was having some difficulties in her life and needed a place to stay. She was fine for a while but when the lockdowns began, I started to notice my liquor was depleting at a faster and faster pace. She replaced it with cheap substitutes but then proceeded to drink that too. One day, I noticed that a special bottle was missing; my daughter had bought me an expensive bottle of Scotch when I graduated from medical school, on which she had engraved “Congratulations Dad.” I kept it on the cart mostly as decoration. Heath confronted our lodger about it, who admitted she had secretly taken it and threw away the bottle. When Heath told her what she’d done, incredulously, she said she’d buy another bottle and have it engraved. Even Gwynne couldn’t put up with that and told her to leave. Makes a good story though.

Congratulations Dad.jpg