Pregnancy
I’m a doctor but more importantly, my wife, Gwynne, was a pediatric nurse for years; that’s why when my daughter, Heather, came over for Thanksgiving dinner last year, after she left, I looked knowingly at Gwynne and she knew what I was thinking. “Did she tell you?” I asked.
“No, give her time.” Gwynne soothed me.
The next time we saw Heather, who is normally extremely fit & active, she had noticeably put on weight and was taking iron supplements. After she went home, I looked at Gwynne questioningly but she just shook her head. “Maybe she plans to tell us at Christmas?”
We were going to be in Peru as a family to spend the holiday with our son, Haven, who lives in Lima with his wife, Mirian, and our grandson, Felix. When Heather arrived at the apartment we were renting, the first thing Mirian said when she saw Heather (she speaks broken English - it’s her third language after all) was, “Baby?”
“No,” Heather replied, straight-faced.
“No, baby?” Mirian asked again.
“Nope,” Heather repeated.
Mirian looked over at Gwynne, confused. Gwynne just gave her the Like-Brother-Like-Sister smile.
We had decided to spend Christmas in the Amazon, staying at a ramshackle lodge on stilts in the jungle. The first day there we all went on a hike, along which was a photo stop, a tree sacred to the natives because it was purported to improve fertility. Everyone in the family was thinking the same thing, “too late, deed’s done.”
While we were there, we all went to the wild Amazon river. In fact, we went swimming with the piranha, including Heather. Back in the village was a primitive market thatched-roof kiosks, one specializing in handmade children's clothes. I was walking near Heather, I said, “That’s cute. Wouldn’t it look good on a baby?” Heather didn’t reply.
When the trip was over and Heather got a taxi to the airport, leaving the rest of us in the living room; after the “Be safes,” “See you at homes,” and the door closing behind her, Heath blurted out, “So who’s going to talk about the elephant in the room?” No one did.
The Announcement
Eventually, we were all back home and Heather arranged for us all to be at the house so she could “borrow the truck.” Sure, we all thought, that’s an obvious reason why she wanted everyone to be there. When her & her husband, David, arrived, they both had big smiles. As a gift, Heather had made a calendar thingy, something with hooks that little white cardboard disks with writing on them were hanging from in a cascading fashion. “Days to Remember” was what it was called, memorializing birthdays & wedding anniversaries, and an extra red disk that had “Nicola Rose Quartz” printed on it. Obviously, it was Heather’s way of letting us know she was pregnant and the estimated birthing day. You can ask my wife, I’m an ornery guy, so I pretended not to notice the red tag, and handed it to my Heath. “Hey, look at this,” I said. “Heather made it.”
Heath took it, noticing that I hadn’t mentioned the special tag, so he didn’t either. “Look! It’s got Jessica and my anniversary on there,” he said nonchalantly. “This is cool Heather,” and he put it back on the table.
Heather’s eyes were wide, reverse-surprised. Heath & I smiled back at her.
Luckily, Jessica, Heath's wife, picked the homemade calendar off the table, and immediately started gushing about having a niece coming, then everybody got involved and congratulated her for something we'd known about for months but now I could proudly tell everyone I knew.
The Baby Shower
Next there was the baby shower. It was held at our house; the best baby shower I’d ever been to, probably because it was the only baby shower I’d ever been to. Males weren’t allowed to attend, even children, but I wasn’t going anywhere because I couldn’t trust my wife to video it like I wanted. There’s lots of nutty stuff that goes on at baby showers, I don’t think I’ll go again except to video future grandchildren celebrations.
Nico in the Hospital
The odds are less than 10% that a first-time 38-yo mother can conceive naturally and carry a baby to term but Heather wasn’t that lucky; she delivered Nicola Rose Quartz Ritter 9 weeks early: a teeny, tiny 3-pounder. 50 years ago a premie like that would have died, and100 years ago my daughter would have died because it was breach. Obviously, Gwynne & I were excited to have another grandchild, the first girl. I don’t usually talk on the phone, I certainly don’t make calls, but I did that day, which brought up a curious circumstance repeated by several of the people I'd just recently told about the pregnancy: they surprisedly say, “I’ve never heard of anyone having a baby in one month.”
The parents were cautious for a few weeks, Nico was still tiny, so we didn’t get to see her until her coming out party on Easter.
Meeting Uncle Haven
My son, Haven, lives in Peru with his family; my first grandchild, Felix, is the last carrier of the Hash name: we depend on him to have a large family of boys, otherwise our branch of the family all the way back to our great, great grandfather, is snuffed out. Heather had been to Lima, where Haven & Felix live, for his birth, and we expected them to come up to visit sometime after Nico was born. That happened a little sooner than expected from anybody but Haven.
Heather was at home by herself because her husband, David, works nights as a chef at Michael Jordan’s Steakhouse in the Ilani casino on the nearby Indian reservation. She got a knock on her front door about 9 pm, and when she opened it, there’s Haven. “Hi,” she said, unsurprised because it was Haven and he does this kind of thing. Haven didn’t say why he was visiting from Peru but he did want to hold Nico. Heather didn’t see Felix so she surreptiously texted Gwynne to see if him & Haven’s wife, Marion, were at our house. Gwynne said no but I went and unlocked the back door so Haven could stay in the Guest room upstairs if he came in after we went to bed.
The next morning I was in the kitchen by the back stairwell practicing Spanish (to talk to Felix) when I heard someone sneaking down the stairs. I saw Haven’s head peer around the corner to see if anyone was around so he could make his escape but, of course, I was there to trap him. “Hey! Let’s go to McDonald’s for breakfast,” I said. Haven, knowing he was found-out, put his backpack on the counter and went with me; we love Bacon, Egg & Cheese Biscuits. We yakked about politics mostly, he didn’t tell me why he was here. It got to be noon, so I said, “Hey! Let’s go to Carl’s Jr. for lunch.” We like Famous Star burgers. We talked for a couple hours more (I still don’t know if he had anything planned) before we went home. Gwynne came over to hug Haven when we came in then he went upstairs to his room. Gwynne had invited Heather to bring Nico over for BBQ & congratulatory drinks, along with my son, Heath, and his wife, Jessica. Haven eventually joined us and we talked for a couple hours then he said, “Can I borrow the Prius?” Gwynne gave him the key from the key-caddy, he grabbed his backpack and left. We know how Haven works: Gwynne had bought some gifts for Felix and she put them in a bag and set them by key-caddy just in case he returned and went back to Peru without us seeing him again. A couple days went by and the bag was still on the counter then on the third morning it was gone.
Grandma Babysitting
Eventually, both Heather & David had to go back to work so Gwynne babysits Nico a couple days a week. During bathroom breaks and the like, I was in charge but I had things to do, so I’d put Nico on the bed and check on her every so often. Babies don’t do much.
As Nico got older, Gwynne would put her in a walker to wear herself. Walkers have changed since we had babies; instead of being lightweight & maneuverable, now they’re big plastic, immobile things built for safety rather than learning to walk. I was amazed that a little 12 lb. baby could even push that heavy thing around but she loved it. Eventually, she’d get tired; I would too given the situation, so Gwynne would get her to sleep by putting her in a snuggly and walking 3 miles around the neighbor, rain or shine.