Ducks in the Road

[Martin Hash]

My wife, Gwynne, and I were going to McDonald’s for coffee, something we do everyday together; then we walk the neighborhood, then she goes and does Gwynne-things and I go and do Martin-things, and we don’t see each other again until McDonald’s coffee time the next day. Gwynne only buys a McDonald’s toy, but she only wants ones she doesn’t have, and often holds up the drivethru line while interrogating the poor teenager on the other side of the speaker about which toys they have, and taking her time to make up her mind. On our way there Monday morning, I was feeling good, having just published my newest book on Kindle, and even though I was planning on fasting for the rest of the morning, I couldn’t resist the temptation to eat the half-pound of diced raw ahi in the refrigerator before we left. I was practicing my Spanish: my grandson speaks Spanish so every day I use an iPhone app called “DuoLingo;” over 2000 days now, multiple lessons per day, but I can hardly say anything, though I can read subtitles on movies and order from the real menu at a Mexican restaurant. It was gray and rainy outside the car windows, just switching to spring; I could see the clouds clearing on the horizon, and it was sunny through the cracks.

Ducks in the Road.jpg

Abruptly, the car jerked to a stop; I looked up, surprised & concerned.
“Look,” Gwynne told me calmly. “Baby ducks.”
I looked out the windshield: I’ve got this thing about baby ducks: they’re cuter than baby chicks and walk funny. I don’t think puppies or kittens are cute so I know I’m not gay. This little family of ducks was soooo cute waddling around behind their mommy, who didn’t look old enough to so many children.
“Ohhhhh...,” I said. “Let’s go.”
“There’s a cement barrier,” Gwynne replied, concerned. “They’ve got to go back.”
Thank goodness for the barrier, I thought; the other side of the 4-lane road was a lot busier than the side we were on; the only car, thank goodness, because stopped in the middle of the road waiting for baby ducks would be embarrassing to explain to the auto-insurance appraiser, unless it was a woman, or a gay guy.
“We can’t leave,” Gwynne exclaimed. “What if they get hit by the next car?”
“Pretend you’re going to run over them and herd them back across the street,” I suggested.
“I’m not going to pretend to run over the baby ducks,” Gwynne exclaimed like she was offended or something. So we sat there in the middle of the road, a perfect rear-end collision waiting to happen while the ducklings meandered around the road ahead of us. Finally Gwynne pretended to run them over and they went back to the side of the road where they came from.

No other baby ducks blocked us the rest of the way to McDonald’s. Gwynne ordered a cup of coffee for me and went back-and-forth with the girl on the speaker about which toy she wanted. The line of cars behind us was getting impressive when we finally moved on to the pay window. Unfortunately, while the girl was handing back the change, some of it fell on the ground but she didn’t seem to care. Gwynne waited to have it replaced but the girl apparently thought it was okay, so Gwynne pointedly put the car in park, opened the driver’s door, got out and deliberately started looking around for the dropped coins. I could see her bobbing up and down outside by the open pay window; it took more time than you would have thought, until finally she got back in the car and put a handful of change: quarters, nickles, dimes & pennies, down on the center console of the car.
“They must drop a lot of money,” Gwynne gloated. “I picked up way more than a dollar’s worth.”
She was still talking, reveling in her triumph; I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. We were driving away, back towards the baby ducks when I finally blurted out: “We never picked up the cup of coffee.”
Gwynne had to go back and ask for it from the girl through the window.

McDonald's Coffee.jpg

[Xenophon]

Was it still hot? I love McDonald's coffee, but lukewarm cups of coffee are abominations, imo.

[Haumana]

Was it still hot? I love McDonald's coffee, but lukewarm cups of coffee are abominations, imo.

Which toy was my question but then again I don't drink coffee.

[DBTrek]

I close my eyes,
Only for a moment and the moments gone,
All my dreams
Pass before my eyes, a curiosity,

Duuuuuucks in the road,
All we are are ducks in the rooooooad...

[Haumana]

Wasabi with the Ahi?