Crazy Legs

[Martin Hash]

There’s only 13 miles of Route 66 in Kansas, and it’s tough to find someplace worthwhile to stop. Normally I wouldn’t care to see made-up roadside attractions with signs like “Inspiration for the movie Cars;” which were just old trucks with eyes painted in the windows, but there wasn’t a lot to choose from. I took an obligatory picture of my wife, Gwynne, GPS-spiked the location and we got out of there.

Gwynne With Trucks.JPG

It was tough trying to find at least one other stop before we were out of Kansas: mining equipment, gem museum, a bridge; pretty slim-pickings.
“Stop if you see a Visitor Center,” I told Gwynne in desperation.
“There’s one right over there,” she pointed directly across for us.
We pulled into an old converted gas station. When we walked in, as usual at all the Visitor Centers, the old person, in this case an eccentric-looking man, would welcome us and ask if we needed anything. I always shook my head; these old people wanted company and an opportunity to talk as long as they could keep locked onto someone. Gwynne, however, lives for that stuff. Instead, I went to pick out Corvette-related souvenirs but when I looked over after 15 minutes of Asperger’s-level monotone talking and several dozen brochures, I could see Gwynne’s endurance was waning. I went in for the rescue.
When I got over to the pair, Asperger’s noticed me about to abduct his audience, and asked, “Did you see that movie, Cars?”
“Yes. I loved it,” Gwynne replied. “But it’s been a long time.”
“Do you want to see a star of that movie?” He asked.
I thought he must be talking about a picture behind him of the so-called “Cars inspiration” place we were just at, but no, that’s not what he meant. Instead he pointed to himself.
“You’re looking at him,” he said in his monotone Country accent.
Asperger’s lead us over to a photo of him standing in front of the Cars truck with eyes.

Dean Crazy Legs Walker.jpg

“Do you see anything wrong with this picture?” He asked.
The photo showed him standing with his torso facing front but his legs facing backwards.
“The legs are Photoshopped backwards,” I speculated aloud, thinking it an odd thing to do.
“Nope,” Asperger’s said triumphantly, and bizarrely, he preceded to physically turn his legs completely around, some kind of double-jointed carnival gimmick.
“That’s why they have the truck drive backwards,” he explained.
It was then I saw the photo was titled “Dean Crazy Legs Walker.”
It dawned on me that his physical appearance and vocal style reminded me of Larry The Cable Guy, and it clicked; this was him, this guy, Walker, WAS the inspiration of the tow truck, Mator, in the movie Cars. You definitely get your kicks on Route 66, even if they're backwards.

Martin with Dean Walker s.jpg