My wife, Gwynne, and I have always gone dancing but it was occasional. Recently, we made a list of things we're going to do: drinking wine, Volkswalking, Day Trips with a picnic basket, and dancing regularly. We've basically been gone for a decade, so it's been awhile since we were in the live music scene, so we eased in. First thing we noticed was that “tribute” bands, cover bands that exclusive play a vintage band's catalog and even dress like them, are a thing now, and quite entertaining. We also noticed that there's a lot of the same music we danced to over the past 4 decades up to the Grunge era, and that the other dancers are all around our age, so when we walked in, it felt right.
The first night was a Country Western band. I was wearing my sterling silver-toed cowboy boots, and Gwynne had on the tooled-leather belt with her name on it that enticed me to approach her in college so long ago. The band was good and we danced a lot but there were a couple ladies sitting next to us who paid more attention to us than dancing.
The next week at another club, a guy sat down next to Gwynne, and said, “I’m really attracted to you.” Next thing, he asked me, “You her husband?” I nodded. After all, we sit together and dance together, not a hard tell. It seemed weird but it was after 10 pm. He stayed around for 15 minutes telling us about himself, at one point saying to Gwynne, “I’m 52 and I’d do you.” Eventually, he left. “What was that?” Gwynne asked.
A few nights later, while Gwynne and I were on the dance floor, this guy moves my chair with my jacket on it, and puts his chair next to Gwynne's. My whiskey & beer were still on the table in front of him. When we came back to our seats, I had to sit across the table from him and scoop my drinks over. Gwynne never gave him a chance to talk to her, she jumped up and took me out to the dance floor where we stayed the rest of the night. When we finally picked up our jackets, he was still there?!
My son, Heath, took us out and I told him these bizarre stories. He asked, “were you wearing your wedding rings?” I explained, “Mom was a nurse, and I was a doctor; we couldn’t wear jewelry at work, and when we travel, we leave the jewelry at home. We’re out of the habit.” “Well, get in the habit,” Heath informed us. “You guys were advertising for a threesome.”
“Oh.”
But the wedding rings made no difference; the very next incidence was a doozy: Gwynne & I were sitting together, dancing together, wearing our wedding rings; it's the night before St. Patrick's day and they're selling green Jell-O shots. This young guy, I mean he's not much over 40, thin and good looking, comes up to Gwynne and gives her a shot, and says, "You're pretty." He talks some more to her but I can't remember what. Eventually he goes away. I go to the bathroom; when I get back, this guy's asking Gwynne to dance. She sees me, grabs my arm and we go dancing. After a couple dances, this guy comes out and dances with us in a triangle. He gives Gwynne hip bumps. A girl about his age from the audience comes out and pulls him to dance with her. They dance a few times, each time when he comes out, he smiles & winks, lightly touches Gwynne. The young girl pulls him to the other side of the dance floor. This went on for the rest of the night.
Obviously, something has changed about the "dating" scene; old prohibitions are no longer in place, and taboo relationships are fashionable. I think the Tinder Age has made people totally open to sex from whoever they want it from. As further evidence that this is the case, a week ago we tried to talk to another attractive couple about our age: they'd been married 37 years, and had 2 grown sons. We’d talking briefly with them before but this was our first real conversation; within 1 minute they asked if we were Swingers and said they didn’t do that. Confirmation that Swinging is the new norm. Gwynne was embarrassed, and said we don’t have to try to talk to them again, but I pointed out that they were just being upfront about the current situation in dance clubs.
That didn't stop us from going dancing; partly because Gwynne gets a kick out of guys 20 years younger than her knocking on the door, but mostly because we like to dance, and that’s the solution if someone starts stalking her. For my part, I’m fascinated by these events; how far does it go?
There's more: Monday night we were at an acoustic set featuring a super-attractive Black guy, CJ Mickens, who's already been on American Idol and is trying out for The Voice right now. He comes and sits with Gwynne & me between sets. The next day, Gwynne gets a Facebook Friend request from him, and all he knew was our first names.
My daughter, Heather, told me to keep her up-to-date on her mother's paramours but when she found out about the 40-year old, she had a fit. “Mom, that's gross,” she said. “Don't you dare go any younger.” When Heather went home, Gwynne looked at me and said, “I didn't have the nerve to tell her CJ is 35.”
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