Fertility

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Martin Hash
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Fertility

Post by Martin Hash » Mon Feb 25, 2019 2:27 pm

Haven's Family.jpg
My three children, Heath, Heather & Haven, have traveled with my wife, Gwynne, and me since they were young. We've been all over the world together, and even into adulthood they'll meet up with us in South Africa, Brazil, or wherever we happen to be, for Christmas, New Years, whatever. As they have gotten older, they will travel together without us. For example, the three of them went to Peru to see Machu Picchu, after which they were going to meet up at our house for Christmas, to see their cousins who were visiting. Per the plan, two of them showed up as expected, but my youngest, Haven, wasn't with them.
“Where's Haven?” I asked my oldest son, Heath.
“He stayed in Lima,” Heath answered nonchalantly. “He was talking to a girl on the bus.”
Anybody who knows anything about Haven knows that randomly staying in Peru was normal behavior.
“There's a girl involved,” Gwynne speculated.
“Is he going to make it for Christmas?” I asked.
Heath shrugged his shoulders. “He says he is but, you know...”
We got a text from Haven after Christmas saying he was going to be back for New Years. He wasn't. In fact, we didn't see Haven for another year-and-a-half when he finally met up with us in Hue, Vietnam. He brought his wife-to-be, Mirian, who spoke no English, which made no difference, she was delightful. 9 months later my first grandchild, Felix, was born in Peru.

Haven gets into things. During Mirian's pregnancy, he read everything he could about having babies. He became quite the expert, and liked talking to me about doctor things. When Gwynne and I visited him and Mirian in Lima, he was very serious about his new family.
“It's important for mothers to have children young,” he told me. “They have the best chance of conceiving, and the least chance of difficulties.”
“That's true,” I agreed.
“Heather needs to have children soon,” he continued.
“Yeah,” I agreed again. “She's in her mid-30s. It's time.”
“Heath too,” Haven said.
“Yep.”
Haven didn't say much more but he told me he had some gifts for his brother & sister. He had me read a page he had brought up on his phone; it was in Spanish but I could make out Fertility Bulls. Haven had bought Heather and Heath's wife, Jessica, colorful porcelain statues of bulls.
“Tell them they need to put these near the bed,” Haven instructed me.
I couldn't tell if he was joking, decided he wasn't. “Okay,” I assured him. “I'll have Mom wrap them.”
Fertility Bulls.jpg
The next day Haven said he was going to be gone for a while. When he came back he had a package; something wrapped in newspaper.
“I had to work my connections to get these,” he told me. “They're only available in Cusco.”
Haven handed over the package. “Don't open them,” he warned. “These are Christmas presents for Heather and Jessica.”
When we were going home from our visit, Haven texted me with suggestions on what to say when we were going through Customs. Instructions on exactly how to answer the Customs Officer if he asked about the package. I wasn't planning on telling Customs anything about anything, but I appreciated Haven's concern. We put the package in with the Fertility Bulls.

At Christmas, Gwynne waited until all the gifts were open before going into the closet to get the Fertility Bulls in Christmas wrapping because she thought Heather and Heath might be a little taken aback what their younger brother was implying. Actually, they were good sports about the gift, and awkwardly laughed it off. All would have been fine except there was that second gift, the ones from Cusco, an Incan city close to Machu Picchu. Gwynne handed each of them the newspaper-wrapped things, and she had gone to the additional measure of putting them in tightly closed plastic bags.
“These are from Haven too,” Gwynne told everyone.
“Why are they in plastic bags?” Heather asked suspiciously.
“They smell,” Gwynne replied honestly.
Heather wrinkled her nose when she took the newspaper out of the plastic bag. “Oh, my, you're not kidding!” she exclaimed.
“I'm getting a vibe about what this is,” Heather said, looking over at Heath unwrapping his gift too.
Both of them had been to Cusco together, along with Jessica, so they'd been in the market there.
“Are these what I think they are?” Heather asked.
Gwynne nodded her head.
“Oh, my, god,” Heather said as she took the last of the newspaper off.
“What is that thing?” Heather's fiance, David, asked. “It smells terrible.”
Heath had unwrapped his gift too, and was holding up. “The dog wants to eat mine,” he said, laughing.
“It's an aborted llama fetus,” Heather told David. “We're supposed to bury it under our house to make sure we have babies.”
David's eyes went wide. “'Oh, my, god,' is right.”

Heath's Llama Fetus.jpg
David's Llama Fetus.jpg
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