I was with my son, Haven, shopping at the supermercado, a big supermarket, in Lima, Peru. We were looking for some Diet Dr. Pepper. I hadn't had any luck at any of the smaller markets, this was our last chance. Then, surprisingly, a security guard in full uniform rushed up to me.
“American?” the guard asked, hopefully.
I nodded.
The guard handed me small piece of paper torn out of a notebook; it had a short handwritten message in Spanish. I could make out a couple words, “malas” means bad, but he was trying to explain something too rapidly for me to understand. He seemed to be rushed and left abruptly.I tried to read the note but my rudimentary translation was bizarre so I had Haven take a look.
“Bad news but good for humanity,” he translated. “And there's a website.”
“That's supremely odd,” I said, curious. “What's a security guard doing giving me a note? Let’s look at the website.”
Haven brought it up on his phone.
“You ever heard of the Church of Philadelphia?” he asked.
“Nope.”
“I have. It’s an Doomsday apocalypse cult.”
Haven read from the Wiki page. “Herbert w. Armstrong started it in 1989 in Edmond Oklahoma. It was revealed by God that North Korea is starting the Third World War, with nukes. Jesus arrives. We’re saved.”
“I remember that guy!” I replied. “He had the first satellite dish church, down in Los Angeles. He’d wear a pit helmet and mumble stuff. It’s because of him I bought a pith helmet.”
“No, that was Gene Scott,” Haven said. “Is that the silly hat you wear when you go to the zoo?”
“It's not silly. Gene Scott wore one and he talked to God."
"Wait a minute: is it the one with the Man From U.N.C.L.E. Logo?” I asked.Haven looked at his phone, nodded. “Looks like: Armstrongism is an offshoot of the Worldwide Church of God.”
“I need a kooky church refresher,” I admitted.
We finally did find some Cherry Dr. Pepper by the 8 Items or Less checkout but it wasn't diet. The End Times are going to be a lot more uncomfortable without it.
End Times
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heydaralon
- Posts: 7571
- Joined: Thu Mar 16, 2017 7:54 pm
Re: End Times
Its to bad you didn't want some pescado, you could have gone to the pescado mercado. Books can be found at the Bibliotecha.
Shikata ga nai
