TMIMITW Job Opening

[Martin Hash]

Most Interesting Man in the World front.jpg

Most Interesting Man in the World back.jpg

Recently, Dos Equis beer “The Most Interesting Man In The World” is retiring: apparently he's going to be the first person on Mars with no way back, so the job's open? I'm the Wysest Myn in the Wyrld, I wonder if that qualifies? I looked up what I'm up against:
He lives vicariously through himself.
His 10-gallon hat holds 20 gallons.
If opportunity knocks, and he’s not at home, opportunity waits.
His signature won a Pulitzer.
Bigfoot tries to get pictures of him.
When he goes to Spain, he chases the bulls.
Bear hugs are what he gives bears.
Once he ran a marathon because it was “on the way.”
He is the life of parties that he has never attended.
He has inside jokes with people he’s never met.
Presidents take his birthday off.
He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.
His tears can cure cancer; too bad he never cries.
He is considered a national treasure in countries he’s never visited.
There were more but you get the gist of it. Obviously, beating a make believe MIMITW wasn't possible but there had to be some real life MIMITWs, so I Googled them up:

Delbert Dunmire.JPG

Delbert Dunmire (deceased), as described on Time.com:
He majored in beer drinking and minored in social life,
He trained to be a fighter pilot but while in the service, he ran up a $5,000 debt playing poker and was dismissed.
He robbed several thousand dollars from a bank in Abilene, Kansas, caught by police after a brief chase to serve to years in prison.
After he was released from prison he made a fortune selling aviation parts.
He wore a clown outfit to his engagement party where Evil Knievel was his groomsman, and spent $million for one night with Frankie Avalon singing.
He randomly handed out $100 bills.
He bought a ghost town.
He made $200 million, spent $205 million.
He paid for everyone in his High School reunion to go to the Bahamas.
He was called “The embodiment of the American Dream” by the Kansas City Star.

Eliot Elisofon.JPG

Then there was Eliot Elisofon (deceased), as described on Smithsonianmag.com:
He drank copious amounts of scotch.
He was allowed to touch art in the Smithsonian.
He put the Brandon in Marlon.
Strippers kept photos of him on their dressing tables.
General George S. Patton called him “Hellzapoppin.”
He didn't think of himself as a good photographer, but rather as the “world's greatest.”
His life was a whirlwind of travel, food, wives, and celebrities.
He traversed 2 million miles for his art.
He was a painter, chef, filmmaker, art collector, and connoisseur.

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Finally, there's Peter Freuchen (deceased), as described on All-That-Is-Interesting.com:
He escaped an ice cave armed with his bare hands and frozen feces.
He also escaped a death warrant issued by the Third Reich officers.
He was the fifth person to win the jackpot on the game show The $64,000 Question.
He was an adventurer, explorer, author, and anthropologist.
He dropped out of the University of Copenhagen.
He was married 3 times.
He made himself a coat out of a polar bear he’d killed himself.
He was 6’7.
He was a Magazine editor.
He contributing to the Oscar-winning film Eskimo/Mala the Magnificent, which was based on a book written by him.
There's a painting of him on the wall of the New York Explorers Club.

The one thing these guys all had in common was that they were dead, but I'm not dead! I thought if I approached my local newspaper with my accomplishments thinking maybe they'd publish something which would then lead to me getting noted in a .com magazine? So I wrote, “I'm a local resident who established a successful computer animation software business here, made multiple movies, published a dozen books, traveled to 100+ countries, has 3 score collections, 7 advanced degrees, and the World's ever only simultaneously licensed doctor, lawyer, professional engineer, and accountant.” I also attached my resume with pictures as evidence.

My response from The Columbian newspaper: “Good for you.”

[Martin Hash]

There's a new Most Interesting Man In The World, and it's not me.

TWMIM 2.JPG

[Montegriffo]

CB Fry has to be a consideration for the title of most interesting man. Certainly one of the most accomplished Englishmen.

[Speaker to Animals]

Go discover a lost city (with treasure) in the Peten rain forest. They are still out there. Come back to civilization with some golden monkey god statues, or whatever, and you'll be on the cover of National Geographic as the eccentric millionaire who became a real-life Indiana Jones. You're crazy enough to do it too.

Honestly, if I were rich and bored, I would try to discover lost cities and treasures for the fun of it.

It's really difficult to get out there and explore, though. The rain forest is actually pretty harsh.

[Martin Hash]

Go discover a lost city (with treasure) in the Peten rain forest. They are still out there. Come back to civilization with some golden monkey god statues, or whatever, and you'll be on the cover of National Geographic as the eccentric millionaire who became a real-life Indiana Jones. You're crazy enough to do it too.

Honestly, if I were rich and bored, I would try to discover lost cities and treasures for the fun of it.

Dude, I found a Gorilla sanctuary that was listed nowhere. My GPS spike is the same one I see on all subsequent Internet references to it. Lost Gorillas

My "Diving with Crocodiles" video of my sons, Heath & Haven, was optioned by a television station in Japan.

My wife, Gwynne, has an Internet video, which I made, of her petting a wild hippo on the nose. Petting Hippo

[Speaker to Animals]

Go discover a lost city (with treasure) in the Peten rain forest. They are still out there. Come back to civilization with some golden monkey god statues, or whatever, and you'll be on the cover of National Geographic as the eccentric millionaire who became a real-life Indiana Jones. You're crazy enough to do it too.

Honestly, if I were rich and bored, I would try to discover lost cities and treasures for the fun of it.

Dude, I found a Gorilla sanctuary that was listed nowhere. My GPS spike is the same one I see on all subsequent Internet references to it. Lost Gorillas

My "Diving with Crocodiles" video of my sons, Heath & Haven, was optioned by a television station in Japan.

My wife, Gwynne, has an Internet video, which I made, of her petting a wild hippo on the nose. Petting Hippo

You're crazy, man. You are one big discovery or stunt away.

[Speaker to Animals]

There are a few mysterious treasures lost around the Carribean still.

To find them, you need to be smart in many different areas, from historical research to ocean engineering. Then there's all the security and spying that goes on. That's a cool world to operate in.

I was pretty close to switching over to ocean engineering in grad school. I think you'd adapt to it just fine. There is a lot of AI and control systems tech in the UAVs. You can contract out a lot of historical research. I wouldn't be surprised if there are historians out there with good ideas about where this stuff is located, but no capital to do anything about it.

[Martin Hash]

Videos:
Petting Hippo
Lost Gorilla Valley
Gorillas

[Martin Hash]

Go discover a lost city (with treasure) in the Peten rain forest. They are still out there. Come back to civilization with some golden monkey god statues, or whatever, and you'll be on the cover of National Geographic as the eccentric millionaire who became a real-life Indiana Jones. You're crazy enough to do it too.

Honestly, if I were rich and bored, I would try to discover lost cities and treasures for the fun of it.

Dude, I found a Gorilla sanctuary that was listed nowhere. My GPS spike is the same one I see on all subsequent Internet references to it. Lost Gorillas

My "Diving with Crocodiles" video of my sons, Heath & Haven, was optioned by a television station in Japan.

My wife, Gwynne, has an Internet video, which I made, of her petting a wild hippo on the nose. Petting Hippo

You're crazy, man. You are one big discovery or stunt away.

I've already done enough notable stuff, I just need the Lucktocracy to catch on I'm alive.

[Speaker to Animals]

Dude, I found a Gorilla sanctuary that was listed nowhere. My GPS spike is the same one I see on all subsequent Internet references to it. Lost Gorillas

My "Diving with Crocodiles" video of my sons, Heath & Haven, was optioned by a television station in Japan.

My wife, Gwynne, has an Internet video, which I made, of her petting a wild hippo on the nose. Petting Hippo

You're crazy, man. You are one big discovery or stunt away.

I've already done enough notable stuff, I just need the Lucktocracy to catch on I'm alive.

The only mysterious treasure I think I know how to find is an old roman legion standard in Germany. But it's buried beneath a retention pond system and some kind of structure.

If I were looking for Mayan cities, I would just purchase really good sat maps (with radar topo data) and write some scripts that would narrow down a few locations based on mounds and elevation changes.

Shipwrecks are really difficult to find without stumbling on them. Not as much notoriety comes from that any longer either.

Find artifacts that you help governments and archaeologists recover for the fame. You won't get to keep any of the treasure, but you will get fame out of it.

I would love to recover that standard and bring it back to Rome, though.