In Search of the Wisemen

[Martin Hash]

I admit my lack of understanding and knowledge of many, many things, but I am running as fast as I can to catch up, as evidenced by a PhD, JD, MD, MSCS, MBA, BSEE, CPA, PE, USPTA, Assistant Physician, and a lifetime quest of any and all knowledge about the universe. In every group, on every issue, there is always someone smarter than me that I hope will provide guidance towards wisdom. One of the most tantalizing quests, maybe the MOST tantalizing, is where do we come from?

One answer, “Evolution!” is screamed in unison from all quarters so loudly that I assumed it must be true, so I complacently read literature, attended lectures, contemplated theories, and opened my mind to learning about the theory of evolution. (The Evolutionists do not like the word “theory” used in this context – they insist it is not a theory but a proven fact). But evolution just does not work for me? How can I possibly not get it? I must be stupid.

Unfortunately, my PhD, and the source of my fortune, is computer science. I say “unfortunately” because my intimate experience with large, large numbers, and the barely imaginable interconnectivity of giant computer programming projects (like the simulation programs I used to write), tends me to fancy the concept of Irreducible Complexity, but unfortunately the Evolutionists have passed a law that if someone should even consider the fact that things are simply too complicated to evolve, those people can be declared insane, put in prison, and repeatedly man-raped by broomhandle-wielding academics.

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I don’t want that! So, instead, in all piousness, I am on a quest to find the wisemen who can explain evolution to me. So far, I’ve tried Richard Dawkins but his religion is Atheism. (I don’t believe in God but I don’t condemn other people for not believing like I do.) Darwin was a cool guy (I loved the graphic adaptation of “Origin of the Species”), and at the level he describes gradualism, evolution seems reasonable to an extent – if I stopped thinking, it would almost be enough, but that pesky biochemistry; and the protein-manufacturing, hormone-signaling, cortex-reasoning minutia of our own bodies is just too much for me to imagine was chance.

However, I’m sure if I just look hard enough, and listen close enough, there is a super-intellectual wiseman who can explain it without waving their arms. If you’re one of them, please reply! The suspense is killing me.